Luca for K9 Paw Minister
Fellow Albert-Eden residents, I’m Luca, 13-year-old Labrador and the elder statesman this race needs. Critics point to the drool puddles. I call it a visible commitment to every meal within two metres. I also demand regular massages, a fair rate for public service. My platform: beach visits every weekend, a ban on solo car rides (if the ute leaves, I’m in the back), and walks at my pace so every bush gets its day in court. To my opponent Kahu: give me back my ear. Vote Luca: slow, steady, hungry.